Six on a Sunday: Really Random

Random thoughts at the end of the week

1. Running.
   There was a time when running was a huge part of my personality. My days would start with a run, during the workday I talked about running, and some days I would slide a special evening run in for a little razzle-dazzle. During race season, I was either training for a race, talking about a race, or recovering from a run related to a race. These days, however, my life is all about anything BUT running. I have even put the group I lead on hiatus until March and I am enjoying the break.
   
   Part of my disinterest in running stems from the feeling that I am not the same Rachee I was before my kidney transplant. Yes, I had a major surgery and the recovery is going well but I keep feeling like I *should* be that Rachee that I was from before…running double-digit miles “for fun” and not out of breath when I simply perform routine activities. I was scrolling on social media and read these words from Coach Bennett from the Nike Run App: 
   
   I have taken his words to heart. There are so many emotions associated with this transplant and I had not realized how much the surgery has impacted more areas in my life. Today I focused on now and got a wee run in that was not awful and while any distance over two miles feels exotic, I find myself looking forward instead of what was. 
   
   Which leads me to 
   
   
2. Work
   All roads seem to lead to work. 
   I am fresh from a library conference and while away I was beginning to feel refreshed and revived. My fellow committee members were so excited about returning to work and seeing their library kids and I was not. Most of my new role is behind the scenes, doing admin work and going to meetings (blergh) so I am not doing a lot of the forward-facing work where I get baby hugs and sloppy toddler cuddles. Due to my wonky immune system, I also cannot receive too many baby hugs or sloppy toddler cuddles so it does make sense that I am behind the scenes. I miss the action sometimes. I miss creating programs and seeing them come to fruition. I miss the moment when a kid decides that something is awesome and has to borrow every!single!book! about the subject and follows me around the stacks to tell me everything about all the things. The last time I had this itch I went to a job that was not a good fit and I feel like I am just recovering and feeling like myself (that girl) again. 
   
   For now, I am planning my next moves. I do want to pursue grad school and I’m thinking of volunteering for another library committee. 
   
   
   
3. Getting to the good part
   A friend of mine does a Friday Five, and she spoke about getting to the good part. I get what she’s saying. At my big ole age of 51, there are times when I feel like I have missed a whole life being afraid, listening to other people’s worries, not being ready, and then I have times when I look at my life and love what and where I have had opportunities to do. I cannot think of what this means in this moment but for now it’s yet another rewatch of 
   
   
4. Ted Lasso
   There’s really nothing to say but upon my latest re-watch, it’s still one of my favorite comfort shows.
   That Holiday episode?
   Doctor Sharon?
   Roy effing Kent?! 
   I know there are some deeper themes, but for now, allow me to revisit Richmond and hang out at the pub while screaming, “FOOTBALL IS LIFE!!”
   
   
5. Frugal February
   After the inauguration of trump, I decided that I was going to be more mindful of where I spent my dollars. Due to recovery from being sick and work, I inadvertently didn’t go crazy spending the month of January so I thought I would do a Frugal February (I do love alliteration!). My goal is not just not to spend money but to be mindful of using and appreciating what I already own. So far I have pulled out my needles and started working on some yarnthing WIPS, read some of the books I have been meaning to get to, and started some projects around the house. 
   
   In the beginning, I was determined not to be a part of the people stimulating the economy but being frugal is more like me pausing before I succumb to consumerism to reflect on whether I have that at home. Surprise…most times, I *do* have that at home, I don’t really need it and life is still pretty groovy. 
   
   
6. Self-care
   I took time to get my eyebrows arched and I painted my nails this week. It’s been a while since I did that level of care and it was nice. It didn’t take long, I wasn’t on my phone, mindlessly scrolling. I enjoy the way my brows make me look like I am giving the “Mommy look of death” and I have not bitten my nails in three days.