So. This week Stasha asked us to take a look at ten things around our house. Because I was talking with someone earlier today about my slight hoarding tendencies and last night was watching some woman on Hoarders cussing at her daughter in law over mildewed papers, I thought I would share my ongoing struggle to get it together and make my house into a home. It’s a total uphill battle and my efforts are Sisyphian at best; it seems like the same bunch of things are in the same places and I totally have some “What the Ham Fat?!” moments when I walk into the house at night.
That ramble aside, here are the ten things in my house that will surely get me on Hoarders. (If I am on Hoarders I want treatment by Corey and Dr. Zaslo)
10. The bag of bags.
Despite putting resuable bags in my trunk inevitably I’ll pop into the supermarket and shop, get to the checkout then its a sweet mother of plastic moment when I remember that I have those bags in my car. After fussing at myself whilst unpacking my groceries, I then bundle the plastic bags vowing to take them into work but my mornings are a frantic, frenzied rush and I forget those bags. Until the next trip to the market and WOW! I have the mother lode of shopping bags!
9. The other bag of bags.
This year I was the woman when it came to attending conferences *insert sassy head shake* and I have been fortunate to get lots of tote bags. Quite honestly, I really have never met a bag I didn’t like (well, there was that one time that one bag…who am I kidding? I like them all!) but let’s get real…how many bags do two people need? The Bee and I, well, we’ve got bags for days, yo! Bags for work/school. Bags for overnight trips. Bags for yarn projects. Bags for books, toys, socks, old clothes. Bags for the bags. Yep. Lots of ’em!
I really did pair them down, took some to work, donated some to family, the thrift shop and all but then there’s the Cotton bag that I feel I have to keep because I begged the Cotton Guy for it as he attempted to break down his booth and the Chronicle Books one that took me three days to get to their booth at the right time to get (only to discover they were giving them away at the end of the conference!) and the DK one that I had to buy a book to get and multiply these stories by six and that’s a hella lot of bags!
You’ve read this somewhere, someplace before.
7. Silly Bands (or however you spell them)
For a while The Bee was all about wearing these things. Her arms were covered in colorful bands that would look like bracelets but once removed would snap back to form footballs, shoes, tiaras, whatever. When we first got Liliana The Bee would shoot the bands at the cat in an attempt to get Lil to leave her alone. Lil thought The Bee was playing with her and would chase anything colorful. Fast forward and there are all types of colorful plastic things all over the house.
Why do we have so much paper clutter? There is just a lot of it all over!
Papers with ideas scribbled for work.
Papers with stories started by The Bee.
Papers with stories started by me.
Patterns, sketches, ideas.\
I really want to fly the blonde from Clean House to my house and have her help me organize the clutter.
5. Broken electronics.
What’s that all about?
We have three tvs that may or may not work but if they do they are so freakin’ old that they would need all types of adapters to even almost be up to date with modern technology. An old router, external hard drive, a record player (for real) , remotes, mismatched old batteries and just some other foolishness that would make us the favorites for the neighborhood junk man.
4. Half-drank Juice boxes.
Why does The Bee get a juice box, take a sip and them leave it?
It’s only 6-8 ounces of liquid. Heck, I can slurp one of those suckers down in a few seconds but my kid…nah! She takes a delicate sip, puts the box down somewhere and then we are left with juice boxes all over the house.
Aside: What is it about juice in a box that gets kids all excited? We have juice in the house but will she pour a cup? NO! But put it in a pouch and attach a straw and its a party.
3. A scythe
Apparently we are agents of death or farmers.
2. Eleventy billion sharpies and pens and pencils.
I don’t mean to have so many but I put them in my hair while at work and then I forget that I have two or three or four pens in my hair, add a a few more and then I head home from work and its all whoa! I look like a human pincushion.
1. Wanna be craft supplies.
As in bottle tops, plastic bottles, buttons, feathers, pipe cleaners, popsicle sticks, straws, more paper (surprise!) and you know what I’ve made these things?
What’s in YOUR house?
Clearing it one step at a time,