So when they were passing out talents I guess I missed my helping of the “hair doing” gene. (I also missed how to arch my own eyebrows and double dutch ICYDK). Because I am dismissive of my grooming habits and tend to be an “if it fits, I wears it” type of gal I was only perplexed with a girl who is quite the girly girl. The Bee is not prissy but when she is not looking like a dock worker she is preening in the mirror. I loc my hair and always thought one day The Bee and I would bond over twisting our hair, but each time I ask her to consider she gives me an emphatic, “NO!”
I reached out my cousin who did my hair until I stopped relaxing it and Leaky would gladly (and sometimes not so gladly) do The Bee’s hair. I would sweeten the pot by exchanging babysitting favors but Arboo flagrantly violates my one per household child rule and sometimes I would kinda sorta not remember that I was supposed to be sitting (yes, I suck).
The Dad was getting The Bee’s hair done but let’s say that there are some All My Children-esque things that are associated with his being in charge of the hair doings and leave it at that.
What to do? My kid can’t run around looking like who did it and ran although God help her there were a few times I thought I was letting her wear her hair “out” and well, it didn’t work.
Rightfully looking eight shades of pissed
So The Bee would resort to dock worker chic, donning hoodies because “her head was cold” but I know she was embarrassed by her hair.
I just want to see you TRY and make me take this off…
Well meaning friends took the lead and got her hair done. There was some visits to the hair store and words I never thought I’d utter again were coming out of my mouth: Do you need 1 or 1B hair. I can’t lie; I had an internal struggle about her hair. The Bee is beautiful but with her hair looking like the after from some Looney Toons cartoon I had to seek help.
Between The Dad and I we were able to find a variety of styles. Yes, my kid was unbeweavable, braided, fried (but never dyed..once she was layed to the side but whatevs). But sadly the braids did some damage to her hair! Her hair was dry, breaking off and looked a hot mess!
My tween looking like a big girl
A friend and I were talking about our respective kid’s hair and after she shamed me encouraged me to learn about all things hair I decided that it was my duty to educate both myself and The Bee. I read It’s all good hair : the guide to styling and grooming black children’s hair by Michele N-K Collison and Kids talk hair : an instruction book for grown-ups & kids by Pamela Ferrell. My kid still looked a hot mess. I still had no idea what to do with The Bee’s hair.
Luckily, Mom came to the rescue. She took pity on me and scheduled The Bee an appointment with her hair stylist, Traci. Our first visit was almost the last. We sat in that salon for HOURS and I just wanted to sob. I was reminded of why I started loccing and was almost loathe to return when the people in the salon tried to pressure me into relaxing The Bee’s hair (NO!). A second visit proved to be just what the doctor ordered. No pressure, a short wait and now The Bee loves her hair. Its starting to shine and get healthy. It’s worth it for the few hours on a Saturday when we hit the Beauty Salon, hear some gossip and come out looking lovely.
Mom and The Bee bonding under the dryers
Not too happy about her hair
The Bee and Traci
I’m holding forth onto my vow not to relax her hair and no longer feeling the pressure. The Bee is so satisfied by the way she looks and how she feels that we shall be visitors to Traci every other week for as long as she’s around.
Still not believing the lye but getting chummy with yaki,