In which a little lie becomes a big problem.
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When I Was a kid I lied to my mom about some money I took.
My sister and I were selling magazines for some kind of school fundraiser and somehow the magazine money got mixed up my own money. A dollar spent here, a quarter spent there and the next thing I know that money was spent! I really had intentions to repay the money buts days turned into weeks and finally I had to confess.
Confessing was not good for the soul; it was terrible! My mom’s reaction was devastating; for months she would not trust me with anything remotely financial. Her interactions with me were met with disappointment and grief as she struggled with how her child was a thief. Since then I have been so more responsible about money. It was hard to climb out from under the cloud of suspicion and I never wanted to feel that way again.
I often wondered if part of the reason I was so closed mouth with my mom was because I didn’t know that I could talk to her. We would talk about things but at a certain point mom became an enemy of sorts and our relationship just disintegrated until communication was a series of grunts or terse words. It’s gotten better over the years but I have vowed not to let my relationship with my teen get to a point where she feels like she cannot talk with me about issues that come up.
My teen has started fudging the truth as she tests the limits and tries to define what it means to being a teen. There are times when I am so frustrated that I want to yell and scream but I know that the tempory relief of yelling is not worth the long term plan to make her feel like she can talk to me.
When I find that she is avoiding the truth or outright lying, I have begun to take these steps
1. TALK. It seems like a simple idea but sometimes just being in the habit of talking and communicating can mean that we will not get to this point.
2. LET HER BE. It took me the longest time not to be offended when my child would diss me, leave me alone as she holed up in her room for a while. I realize that not every parent has to go through thjis and lucky for you but for me I found that letting my moody teen be was what was needed at times.
3. ALLOW HER TO HAVE HER MOODS. My mom would always liken me to my sister, my twin, who seemed to have done everything before me. Mom would often say that she wasn’t putting up with moodiness, attitudes, etc and I always felt like I didn’t have space to work through teen spirit.
4. SET LIMITS. The above is well and good but I have to let my kid know that while I ready to support her, I am not here for her nonsense. Moms got feelings too!
This month Netflix is premiering Bloodline, a new original series featuring The Rayburns who have some dark family secrets they’re willing to do anything to keep from coming out — lying included. Starring Kyle Chandler (Friday Night Lights) and set in the Florida keys, the series follows a family caught between the ugly truth and the terrible lie that covers it up – a storyline that conjured our friends at Variety to predict that, “.. those who give Bloodline a chance will, pretty quickly, find themselves hooked.”
There are also some titles listed for younger viewers to spark a discussion about telling the truth and little white lies.
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire
For your little kids:
For your big kids:
And for teens and parents:
NEW ON NETFLIX for kids and families
Tell me, have you ever told a lie, little, white or humongo? What happened?
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