So. I totally had this introspective post all ready to go but then I saw this Aiming Low post by Una Lamarache and yes…shallowness rules.
Una (we’re besties; not really) writes about disliking the part of Thanksgiving when you go around the table talking about the the things that you are thankful for. It always feels like the drain and pain in the ass that it is; there is always that family member that has to be all extra blubbering and hiccuping through this ordeal. The one that “can’t think of anything” and then wants to share everything that has ever been on their mind. The kids who monotonically state something that their parent forced them to state and someone (me) always says something like they are thankful that the thankfuls are over.
Here are a list of things that I am secretly thankful about but would never, ever want to say aloud. I can, however, type them all that I want.
1. That I am old enough to make my own plate so that I can pick and choose what I want including the option to NOT have to eat, or even have it grace my plate, the thick gravy that always has some mystery meat as a main ingredient.
2. That I can drink eggnog all that I want without feeling like a slob (yes I will whine about it later but for now bring it!).
3. That I don’t have to decide whose family’s house we will eat with cause I really, really didn’t like that stuffing or baked macaroni. Have you ever heard of salt?
4. That I CAN be over later (or leave early) so that I can watch whatever marathon of quality programming that is sure to grace my screen Thursday.
5. That in addition to watching crap marathons, I can choose to finish reading the book that I’ve started and no one will implore me to be social.
6. That I can eat two or three desserts as I am sampling all of the wares. (consequences will totally be like number 2 but whatevs).
7. That my kid is old enough to choose whether she wants to be with me or her dad. If she chooses to go with her dad then I can not have to do ANYTHING but work on a stage two decubitis and eat pretzels.
But I would NEVER say any of this aloud! *shifty look to left*
What are you UNthankful for?
-r
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