I feel like each week I write about the same thing: messy life, messy life, messy life. This week is no exception however I feel like I can see a light at the top of the well thanks to my guilty pleasure, The Biggest Loser. On the show this week former contestant Marcy returned to help the Blue team complete a workout. Marcy told the contestants that when they feel like they can’t do anymore that they have to think about their powerful why. The why they are doing what they are doing and as she uttered this statement I was grabbing for a pen and paper to write down the phrase Powerful Why.
I know it’s just words but as The Bee and I fumble through yet another day of running back and forth I realize that there really is more than just this. Something can be done. I have to find my Powerful Why. Why are we doing this? Why are we just rushing to school and work, running late and barely getting there on time only to rush home in the evening to collapse as we think about doing it again? It has to be a better way
Thinking about where I am and where I wish I were is difficult. Making it through another day I feel successful. Yay! I did it! But sitting at my desk watching the clock crawl and feeling like I am free only to return to a junky house makes me want to don my cape and save the day. The S on my chest is really for sucker as in reality I feel overwhelmed, grumpy and nothing ever seems to get done completely. I’ve limited myself with the things that I do because of my friend Guilt. Guilt at my messy house, guilt about my messy car, guilt that I have one child and yet its a struggle just to do right by her and keep it all together. Instead of appreciating the things that we have all I can think about is what we need to be doing next and once again I know that something has got to be done. I Guilt becomes me…not. The feeling guilty about always looking for some new thing to get me hyped and ready to start but I’m exhausted and brushing the guilt away. I think being aware of my self thus acknowledging that there are areas that I am not thrilled with is not a bad thing. I do feel a bit like blogging about it is “extra” but my blog, my life my rules.
Seriously though to return to the whole idea of What is my Powerful Why. My powerful why includes wanting to have better days: a juicy life full of experiences and things that make me completely happy and not just happy because its over. A home that invites relaxation and growth. A kid who may be a tween and jetting towards teen but excited to share her life with me. A Me who is exhausted at the end of the day because I have been doing it all and seeing it all and not worn out because I am stressed. It’s not a race and I may not even share more about this after today but I just love the idea of a Powerful Why.
So long to that fatigue and sluggish feeling that surrounds me. Hello to bumps that don’t sideline me and hooray to a new power.
What’s your Powerful Why?
This post is a part of Shell Things Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays
Here are the Rules:
Write a post from the heart.
Something that has been weighing on you.
Something you feel passionately about.
Something you’ve been wanting to talk about.
A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view.