Each time I return from a workshop, conference or similar I bottom out. I am high from the ideas crashing through my head and giddy at the possibilities of what I can and will do however, reality rudely comes in and BOOM! I am feeling grumpy, whiny and ready to chuck it all for that age old question: Would you like fries with that?
Anywho, before the negative thought patterns could creep in, a few things happened:
1) The Bee got ‘sick’ which delayed me returning to work right away
2) This year I finally feel like I know what it is I am doing thus somewhat easing the fear that I am going to screw up some kid’s mind and life due to a bad book recommendation
3) I stopped thinking about things and just did it.
The Bee’s ‘ailment’ caused me to rethink what I expect from her and what I accept from her. She is a bright child and seems way older than her tween age but she is just that: a tween. I cannot expect more from her while I wallow in more of the same. I cannot demand that she be responsible when I am Queen of Procrastination, Empress of UFOs. I have rethought my position of negative attention (punishing her until she was in high school) and decided to focus on her positive (not letting her slide but acknowledging that she screwed around but will get a do over…everyone gets one!).
So far she seems on board. It’s been two days so the jury is still out. However I am confident that we will get through Middle School Madness and happily move on to High School Antics.
My confidence level has been raised from some wonderful librarians from Pittsburgh and of course Dewey Decimal Dude. The Pitt librarians kept joking that I should come work with them, and that they were excited to see me again. DDD was ever helpful as he chatted me up with ideas for next year’s conference, cause, like, he thinks I can do it (SQUEE!) Seriously, I felt like I was on par with most of the people there and I had a blast! I don’t have any regrets, worries or that stupid feeling that lingers in my head telling me what I did wring each step of the way.
Lastly, just doing it.
Not thinking about it, talking about it, pondering. Putting words into action and things got done.
November is going to be good; I am not stalling and just going forth. Some things may be awesome, some may be a woomp, woomp, woomp! Either way I want to say, yes, I did it, no one was harmed and it will just be.
Doing thoughts I thunk before,