The Talk

Say it Rah-shay By Feb 16, 2009 No Comments

Birds do it.
Bees do it.
Even educated fleas do it.
Let’s do it!
Let’s talk about love?*

My sister recently had to have THE TALK with her teen about sex. I can remember the day my mom had the talk with me and how painful it was(something about cows, milk, good girls, nasty girls…repressing memory now) . I have been arming myself with information, speaking with some friends about what they are doing, planing to do and getting prepared. I thought I had a few more years before I had to do the same with The Bee. But then I came across this headline:

Alfie Patten becomes a father at 13 after one night of unprotected sex

Rut ro!

While my daughter is still in the stages of “Ewwww! Boys are yucky” and cringes whenever she sees kissing, I don’t delude myself that one day this will all change, hormones will kick in and her mind will be scattered in a thousand directions. Since my sex ed was more guilt inducing than informative, I thought I would go a different route. As a woman, I have always felt like I was doing something wrong because I developed a body that would cause unwanted attention from men (I learned later on that men are going to catcall and holler at anyone with a double x chromosome but at 12 and 13 it was like a total MF**). I never wanted The Bee to feel this way so I have taken to talking about her body in a positive way, making sure that she understands that there are times when something that feels good may not necessarily be good (a lesson that even adults have not always learned) and that there will be times when what she is feeling may not be right or wrong but just a feeling. We talk about how to be the best person, not good or bad (I am trying mot to qualify good or bad).

Through the magic of Facebook (at times a time waster, other times very informative) I was introduced to Naked. I swear some of the women who were writing these essays were reading my mind! Armed with these war stories, I realized that it is not just me and breathed a giant sigh of relief.


As we talk about this and other things going through the ‘tween mind, she wants to know the meaning of life.

Er, can we just talk about sex?

Slowly speaking,


*This is a take on Cole Porter’s 1928 hit Let’s Fall in Love.



I am mom, daughter, sister, yarn lover, word lover, crazy cat lady and library chick. Find me with book or with hook and a hot cuppa.

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