Last week my fellow library types and I attended a meeting to discuss the upcoming event: PA’s One Book, Every Young Child. While I grumbled a bit at having to attend another meeting/workshop/training so soon after our last meeting/workshop/training and knowing there was another meeting/workshop/training coming in a month (I’ll be missing my storytime and my mommy guilt was kicking in big time!) I am glad that I attended.
Usually meetings are accompanied by me feeling discombobulated because I’ve gotten lost on the way there and arrived late or because I am suffering from an extreme case of nuttiness. For this day’s meeting I was a whole half hour early so I was able to score some preview books for my library (sweet!) and I made a new friend, Angela.
As I talked with Angela about collection development (while
grabbing as many books as I could browsing through the preview books I kept asking myself, “Can one ever really say that one has too many books?”), swapped library combat stories (Just how many screaming babies and tantrum throwing three year-olds can make you crack? The answer is 4) and shared ideas for programs (I am blatantly stealing liberally borrowing ideas to use at my library: coming soon…Origami Time and a Spring Craft Day) I had a moment when something in me clicked. It was then that I realized that I knew, and was comfortable, with what I was talking about!
It has been just under two years that I accepted my position as YSC and this time has been wrought with anguish: Am I doing the right thing? Am I really the right person? Am I going to mess it up? There were times that I was so nervous that all of my self destructive behavior would kick into high gear and I would be ready to set myself up for failure. I was such a nervous wreck that I even contemplated just quitting and finding another boring “do as I say” worker bee type gig.
My former director was really helpful talking me off the ledge more times than I care to acknowledge and I am so grateful. My family came through too. There were days when the only people who attended my programs were The Bee, Charleeeeeeeeeeeeeeene, Arboo, Pop and sometimes Dill (if his momma was there). A few times the family all got together to help me weed, set up and take apart a program or jut be available for moral support.
After my chat with Angela, I felt so confident and cool that I was ready for the world. While heading back to my library I felt light and happy. It didn’t matter that I had never attended library school, that I wasn’t doing everything the way “they” (“they” being the other librarians that seem to know everything) and that I can be a flighty type. I felt confident, good and in charge!
Kicking butt and taking names,