Today’s (Optional) Writing Prompt: Write about something that you unexpectedly had a hard time saying goodbye to.
He told me that he cared for me and I picked a fight.
He told me that he felt some deep feelings for me and I avoided him for a week.
He told me that he loved me and I broke up with him.
The fear of allowing myself the comfort, the happiness and the relaxtionn that comes with freely and selflessly loving someone is what I fear. For a while LOVE has been akin to a cuss word, something that was reserved for my family, suckers and that shallow way of describing pizza. It’s something that books are written about, songs are sung about and people go to war for (Helen of Troy anyone) but not for me. The fear of opening my heart and inviting him in was so much so on my mind that I threw every obstacle I could in the way. Not enough time, the kid, work, my cat even. He batted them away with the ease of a someone who knows what he wants and he makes me smile. He makes me happy he makes me get out of my head and celebrate that one bad event does not have to dictate who I am now.
I’m scared but thrilled but nervous but excited but anxious but I want this and it feels good and right and I’m ready to send my fear of this getting messed up and this relationship going south packing and just enjoy knowing that he loves me at my worse, allows me to care for him and work my way out of being crazy chick to being happy half.
He makes me smile. He makes me grin and he makes me feel like this was so worth waiting for, so worth fighting for and so worth not being afraid.
Bye fear. I need to make room for another emotion.
This was my 5-ish minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five-ish minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post below.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.