I’ve been in flux. I left that job and started a new one. I’m still in school however, this semester I am commuting and that drive…yo! Home has been home. There has been some illness but, as I type, everyone is on the mend and mostly everything should be cool…right?
Nope!
Running had been my sanctuary. My last job (that job) was super stressful and running helped save my sanity. It was relatively easy to drag myself out of bed for a run before heading to a job that felt like it was sucking the life out of me. Running was the one thing I could control, one thing that I was truly in charge of, and it felt good to do something positive for myself before doing all the things for everyone else. Now that I have switched to a less stressful role, running has become a bit more of an option as my day is less stress. I have more space for other activities (I was in a play! Homework!! I started knitting again!!!) and now my feelings have morphed from “Yay! I get to run!” to “Ugh! I gotta run?!”
I was whining sharing these feelings with a friend and she suggested that I look at running as “you get to do it!” and that’s not quite working. Philly is in that Sprinter phase where winter isn’t quite over, and spring is rainy and grey, so my bed is extra cozy in the morning. Add a cuddling cat and I snuggles it is.
My running groups are all doing it up, getting the miles in and looking fab and I don’t have the FOMO that I normally feel when I see their posts and pics. I cheer from the sidelines and congratulate them when I see them.
In my Carrie Bradshaw voice…have I run away from running or did running run away from me?
I can report that the anxious feeling was done away with by running. I did the 7.6K for the Philadelphia Love Run and it was good. The course was great. The crowd was fire and cheering fellow runners made me remember WHY I love lacing up.
So I grab my gear and get rear in action for the next race. Feeling the excitement of the starting line, the corrals and that post race banana.
See you at the finish line!
-r
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