My grandmother has been in a rehab facility for a few weeks rebuilding strength after a hospital stay and once again I find myself challenging my thoughts on aging. Watching my mom, aunt and uncle, Grandma’s children, trying to make decisions about her is really stressful. I don’t mean to sound like such a drama queen but watching Grandma seem to shrink daily makes me want to to cry. I know I should be grateful that she is still alive at 90 but honestly I cannot see how living half a life is living. She suffers from Dementia and Alzheimer’s and seeing her this way is difficult. She remembers who I am but will often get confused looking at my daughter and wonder who she is. She cannot take care of her self and often needs help with tasks she once did for me.
Inspired by the book The Goddess of Small Victories by Yannick Grannec, I am resharing a post I wrote back in January in which I question all of my thoughts on aging.
There is an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation called Half a Life. In this episode the citizens of a planet the Federation is assisting, Kaelon II, performs a ritual called The Resolution. This ritual mandates that when citizens reach the age of 60 they should commit suicide as a means of ridding their culture of the need to care for the elderly. Since this episode aired in 1991 (I checked) I have thought about what this means to me through different stages of life. Throughout the years my feelings have gone from thinking that The Resolution is a noble idea to that this is the worst thing imaginable. A part of me thinks that for ME I would not want someone to tell me how and why to live but I also can dig the practicality of taking the burden of caring for me when I am older and frail away from The Bee.
Click this link to read the rest of the post On Aging.
r’s note: This post was inspired by The Goddess of Small Victories by Yannick Grannec, a novel about the brilliant mathematician Kurt Gödel as told from his ex-cabaret dancer wife’s perspective. Join From Left to Write on October 16th as we discuss The Goddess of Small Victories. As a member, I received a copy of the book for review purposes. Affiliate links are used in this post.
I don’t think you’re being a drama queen at all. It’s difficult to see the people we love aging.