P is for…

Say it Rah-shay By May 09, 2011 No Comments


pan·ic    [pan-ik]


1. a sudden overwhelming fear, with or without cause, that produces hysterical or irrational behavior, and that often spreads quickly through a group of persons or animals.

2. an instance, outbreak, or period of such fear.

I made a vow NOT to use my blog to apologize for the way I look, to complain about my weight or to make excuses for the above. However I have been wrestling with the way I look and feel and how I am approaching the new shape that I am. This is NOT a post in which I self-deprecate, self abuse or make excuses. I just have been trying to make sense of this new Rachee.


The Bee, Pop and I went shopping yesterday. Old Navy was having a sale and while I usually run the other direction when it comes to shopping for me, I swallowed my fears and womaned up to make sure that I get some new clothes. With this new me, the things that I wore last Sprummer are just not fitting. I grabbed a few things from the rack and slowly walked to the dressing room, sorta link Sean Penn. The first pair of shorts…Yikes! The shirt I tried left me almost in tears and the dress I found on the clearance rack…well anyone would be able to take a look at me ans see my heart beating. Feeling discouraged and ready to give up I was saved by two angels in the form of fitting room staff Mecky and Miguel. Both honestly gave their opinions to help ease the panic they could see as I tried on outfits out of the normal comfort zone of jeans and a tee. Both kindly ran around the store to get me tops and outfits that would flatter this new shape. I am still not comfortable with this new way I look but I feel confident in my skin and the flowy skirt that I tried on and liked.

Without chronicling every move that I make, whining about the way I look or preemptively apologizing because I have a belly I know that accepting where I am will make me get to where I want to be.



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I am mom, daughter, sister, yarn lover, word lover, crazy cat lady and library chick. Find me with book or with hook and a hot cuppa.

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