A couple of weeks ago The Bee turned into a teen. I’ll let you ruminate on that for a moment as I have had a week to process this milestone. (Don’t worry. It took me some time to process it too. The age thing doesn’t worry me; I’m older and that’s cool but how have in the world did I ever get to a point where I am saying “my teen?”)
So, my tween, with all of her tween angst, is now a teen. With teen angst. As I look at my young lady I find myself watching the child I have been raising. She’s a teen, unsure of herself at times, over confident at others and, despite her best efforts to push me away, needing me to help guide her towards adult hood.
I am scared spitless.
There is no book that gives me instructions for how to care for her now. Where is the What To Expect the Teenage Years Created Especially for parents of The Bee? Where are the guides and tips for dealing with the emotional roller coaster that is raising a teen? As I muddle through the best way that I know how I want to scream, worry, whine but it’s not my time. It’s not about me and I need to put all of those negative feelings aside and use that energy to guide The Bee into the best young woman she can be.
Often I find myself worrying: Is she happy? Does she have friends? Is she overwhelmed with the pressures that her generation has to face? Have I given her enough knowledge to grow up? Will she be a good citizen? Will she ever pick up her laundry? But here are some things I have learned that I hope will give both of us comfort as we navigate this thing called teens.
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| Me and the Tw…TEEN |
1. Be yourself.
Don’t follow the crowd, think for yourself and it’s ok to have some alone time.
Truly it is.
2. It will get better.
Right now she is testing everything I know about patience but I can see the calm.
I am sure she thinks I get on her nerves (Bwahahahahaha) but she too has to know that it will get better.
3. We are not friends.
I used to think it would be The Bee and me against the world. Some days it feels like that but really, she is my kid and not my buddy. It’s OK to keep her in the loop but really, she’s a kid.
4. ODAAT
One Day at a Time
Chugging through this new thing takes one day, one hour, one moment at a time.
Lawd yes!
5. I love you.
One day The Bee accused me of not loving her. After wanting to bang my head against a wall I realized that it was truly a case of it’s not you, it’s me. Those teen years are a trip!
For my parents of teens…what advice can you offer for me? Advice for her?
Help!
-r
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