Monday Musings: For the Greater Good?

The plot of one of my favorite movies revolves around killing people for the greater good. In the movie Hot Fuzz, Sargent Nicolas Angel is reassigned from London, where he has outshone all of his colleagues, to the quiet village of Sanford where hardly anything happens. However, once in the quiet village Sargent Angel discovers that the “accidental deaths” of several villagers may not be so accidental and is actually a plot to keep up appearances. I don’t mean to liken the horrible allegations of abuse and possible cover up happening at Penn State to a British comedy. I just cannot help but think that the good folk in the athletic department thought they were protecting “The Greater Good” by allowing Jerry Sandusky to get away with his crimes with a mere talkin’ to. What the hell the were Joe Pa, McQueary and the lot of them were thinking as their colleague continually abused the trust of the students he was to take care of?!

I’ve been using this horrific episode as a time to revisit the talks with The Bee about her body and who has the right to touch it. It’s not a comfortable conversation, as she leaps towards puberty there are times when she is downright embarrassed about the changes that her body is going through. Add a mom trying to talk about, you know, private stuff and we are both struggling to find the right words. Before this scandal came to light, I would speak to The Bee about all things private, albeit a tad tongue in cheek, especially after we decided to switch her school. The school she was to attend was enmeshed in a scandal of its own and I spent many a conversation talking with her about how to keep herself protected. When a fellow blogger shared her story of abuse I thought that it wasn’t enough to just talk to The Bee, I also had to make sure she was safe and comfortable talking to me about anything, good or bad.

In the past when The Bee would share something from her day that upset her my initial reaction was to make it all better. That’s still my goal but I also want her to realize that she needs to know that she has power and that she has a voice. She can have HER say, respectful but protecting herself. She can say no. She can listen to her gut. She can talk to me and even if she is in the wrong I want her to know that her mom can hear what she has to say.

What are you doing with your loved ones? Are you using this time to talk, revisit your talks or are you having difficulty coming up with the right words?

Let me know.
-r