Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

Say it Rah-shay By Oct 25, 2010 No Comments

As suggested by my kid

On the list of things Rachee would never do (because I didn’t think me as being capable of, having the opportunity to or cause it just ain’t happening) I’d say dating outside my race would have had to be at the top. It’s not that I have something against other races, cultures etc, it’s just that when I look at me I see, well, me. Not to delve into a Rachee bashing frenzy but I am not quite the typical chick: a little more of me to love, locs, no sense of style whatsoever (if it’s clean and fits it’s on) and as I’ve oft mentioned before, I’ve got some issues. So when I first met Effin’ Guy, it was strictly business. What books do you recommend, what should I be reading, what’s best for kids, and so forth and so on. Over time we’d cross paths for work related things and then one day he was at a workshop I attended and then there was a book signing in his store and then a random sale but it was still strictly work. However one day coming off of the high that was some library type thing, I let my guard down and started flirting and

Licking my wounds I vowed to NEVER shop there again (this vow, however, was moot after a major graphic novel sale that allowed me to acquire 21 books for under 200 bucks!) and instead decided to dial it down a bit and return to my library chick deal. It was all gravy until I had to stop by for something for a program that I had planned and while picking up some crappy Cars comic book Effin Guy just looked so cute ranting about something that I threw caution to the wind and went in for the kill.

After a few missteps and crossed signals it’s been an interesting few months. There was some hesitation on  my part.  I will admit I was worried about what people may say; not the so much the race but despite how much I blab through this blog I tend to keep my inner thoughts in.  My concern about what people thought was exactly what one would expect: no one cared. Then there was the matter of mixing business with pleasure.  Would there be an issue if things didn’t work out? Would I not be able to get my Cool Stuff? Would I have to turn to Fat Jacks?

And no matter what I want to think, race was something on my mind. Yes, Effin Guy puts his pants on one leg at a time, he bleeds red, gets sick and all but he is White and a Republican. I worried that me being a Black liberal chick would lead to clashes and uncomfortable compromises but despite me being a bit more informed (no more McCain jokes, pinky swear!) I never feel like I have to give up being me in order to be with him.

There has been The Looks. We laugh; the funniest times: Effin Guy claiming that there was the older Black lady who gave me a sad look as if to say ‘What was a nice locced girl like me was doing with him’ (he was eating her food and not paying either of us any mind) and the time in Ikea when the sales clerk looked at Effin Guy and asked if I wanted white cabinet doors (the options we black, tan or grey). Really no one cares about the two of us; we’re old. It’s just two people who are trying to get to no one another and oh yes, we come from different backgrounds.
All of that is so worth it. Effin’ Guy is just as fun, geeky as I (although I can honestly say that I have never been a participant in a Captain America costume debate or some conversation about Red Hulk versus Green Hulk). He understands that there are times that The Bee is my only priority and that she does and will come first, that when I am having my Rachee moments (I told y’all; I have issues).  The Bee seems comfortable with me dating although I have been reluctant to have my worlds collide. She had met him when our relationship was strictly professional but in this new role I try to limit their interaction until I am totally sure of what this is. I shouldn’t really worry; she has encouraged me to go out, even helping me pick out better outfits (You’re wearing THAT) and has even told me that she would be ok with him.
Uh, thanks?

I’m glad that I said yes, tried sushi, saw a horrible movie and now have an awesome guy in my life.
I’m taking it sloooow and just enjoying wherever this goes.
Here’s to Effin Guy!


I am mom, daughter, sister, yarn lover, word lover, crazy cat lady and library chick. Find me with book or with hook and a hot cuppa.

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