In which I am acknowledging I listen to the scale.
Even the most casual visitor may notice my fanatic postings about weight, getting in shape, the desire to have a better body image and to practice positive self love. As a someone combating a lifetime of mixed messages from the media, family and those helpful folks whole feel they have a right, nay, duty to comment on my weight, I have attempted to raise my tween without most of the body hangups I enjoyed [tongue firmly pressed into cheek]. I have struggled to keep my derogatory comments about my feelings of self to myself as well as practiced the positive self talk that will ensure that The Bee will never miss a party, school or work because she feels fat. The process is one that needs to be practiced daily. Closet lotto is a fickle game and there are times that my outfit can make or break my attitude for the day.
At lunch a few weeks ago, I thumbed through a People magazine, cause um, I like the music recommendations, and saw there was a book called “How to never look fat again : over 1,000 ways to dress thinner without dieting” by Charla Krupp. After sucking my teeth and thinking that there are never books like this for men, I drank the Kool-Aid and added my name to the list to get a copy when it became available.
The book is actually, gulp, on target. As a woman set in her ways (relaxed fit jeans and bulky tops) the tips shared by Charla aren’t too bad. Clothes that fit (duh), recommendations for all body types and visuals to actually show how one can dress fat and the comparable outfit. My only objection to the book is that among the celebrities she uses as examples: Gweneth Paltrow? Jessica Biel? Halle Berry? Whatever!
Then I got a bit pissy. Where is the book for men? And , do men worry about these things? Really. I asked a few. The reactions were varied: three got a bit self conscious and asked if I thought THEY were fat (No!), one said that he would read it as a professional librarian but probably wouldn’t pick it up for himself, one said yes but only because he was curious although he didn’t understand why there was such a book, two gave an emphatic No and one said yes (he was curious).
Although the consensus was that the book was ridiculous, one friend thought the idea of the book for women was effed (his words). I agree…but. There are times that I do try to delude myself that the extra large tee is really covering my butt or that the smallish skirt is hot (it’s not). The book DID give me a few ideas on how to look a bit more mature without frumpiness or doing away with me. While I was preparing myself to be upset with the book I found that bits and pieces of the advice were actually on target and that there are ways to be comfortable, casual and not look two dress sizes too big.
I guess some closet cleaning is in order. Going to do away with those too big tees, the sausage casing skirts and the things that make me look like I am three sizes bigger than I am.
I may even borrow a copy again.
Now where is the book for men…
Struggling into Spanx,
-r
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I enjoyed your post Rachee. I think it takes a while for us to find “our style” and what really works. The book sounds like a good resource to figuring this out.
I just ended my affair with black leggings. I wore them for years thinking that they make me look thinner. They only served to make me look like I was dressing too young for my life-stage, I feel.
I am now in love with palazzo pants, black of course. I really do like wearing black. I like black because I am a messy, clumsy gal and black covers up my ink spots, coffee stains, lunch drops, etc. I can look clean all day. lol
Back to the pants … yeah, I am really feeling the palazzo pants, especially for summer. They are light, airy, and sophisticated looking. I think it is every woman’s goal to be able to wake up everyday and have her wardrobe work for her.
I love your writing!
Vanessa.
Its so true, there is a double standard for men and women. But I could probably use a little advice on how to dress as well.
Nice post.