Have you noticed the increasing phenomenon of people, regardless of race, creed, sex or age speaking as if they have marbles in their mouth? At first I thought it was me; I tend to zone out when doing some type of repetitive task and having used an iPod for the last five years may have damaged my hearing (full disclosure…I’m old!). But lately I have noticed that people will walk up to the Circ desk and while looking away with hands across (or in) mouth softly speak their request.
What?
What did you say?
What, huh?
The exchange usually ends with me feeling old, like a bougie b***h or with eye rolls all around. Seriously, what is this all about? Is it a secret? Damn! Perhaps I am entering OF (Old Fart) stage and just can’t get the way these kids talk! I say open your friggin’ mouth and enunciate. You don’t have to sound like a phony jerk but speak up! While I am guilty of speaking quickly and at times can chew the endings off of my words and will ‘ax’ a question instead of ‘ask’, I have learned that no one will take me seriously if I cannot even be sure of what I am saying. By no means do I pretend to be the best public speaker and I do realize that I sound snobby but hey, I am not walking up to someone and muttering about the copier breaking down or looking for “Lordaaringsbooks.”
The Bee always sounds quite proper and like she’s ready for a Katherine Hepburn movie (Muh-thehr, Ah need to assistance with my hohmewurk) and while she gets side eyed looks from the kids at the playground, she (going there) well spoken and articulate and will be understood by me and most people over the age of 13.
I found this poem while looking for something else and thought I would include it today.
Totally like whatever, you know? By Taylor Mali http://www.taylormali.com/
In case you hadn’t noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you’re talking about?
Or believe strongly in what you’re saying?
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)’s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren’t, like, questions? You know?
Declarative sentences – so-called
because they used to, like, DECLARE things to be true
as opposed to other things which were, like, not
-have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone?
You know? Like, don’t think I’m uncool
just because I’ve noticed this;
this is just like the word on the street, you know?
It’s like what I’ve heard?
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I’m just inviting you to join me in my uncertainty?
What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally . . .
I mean absolutely . . . You know?
That we’ve just gotten to the point where it’s just, like . . .
whatever!
And so actually our disarticulation . . . ness
is just a clever sort of . . . thing
to disguise the fact that we’ve become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since . . .
you know, a long, long time ago!
I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: To speak with conviction.
To say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY.
You have to speak with it, too.
Wow!
Taking control of my thoughts,
-r
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