From Mommy Blogger to Wannabe Part-Time Influencer to Me: Why the Shift and What Inspired This New Direction?
Every week or so, I log into this space to delete spam comments, re-read old posts (I was pretty funny!), or try to start a new one—only to get stuck. I spend time wondering who I am now, what I want to share, and whether what I write needs to be said. Most often, I close the tab with my blog and tell myself, “Next time.” When I was “mommy-blogging,” it felt easier. I wrote about life with a tween, my dating adventures, workouts, and daily interactions. It seemed like I’d never run out of things to say. Now, it feels like the words are gone.
One hesitation I have about posting is wondering what value I’m bringing. Am I adding to the conversation or just screaming into the void? Is this TMI, and should I just be journaling, or is there someone out there in a similar situation who’s looking for info? When I scroll through social media, I see that those who are posting and growing aren’t overthinking. They’re doing it, and they’re doing well. Practice makes perfect, and instead of endlessly pondering what “something else” is, the best way to find it is to just do it.
I’m in a place where I feel like change is coming. Not a drastic change, like cutting off all my hair and dyeing it burgundy, but more like I’m tired of the daily grind and crave something else. I don’t know exactly what’s next, but I’ve decided I’m going to do it. I was talking to a friend who’s doing an October challenge, and it inspired me to do one of my own—using this blog. The renewal date for this space is coming up, and I need to decide if I should keep it going or let it go.
The more I think about it, I feel this space has potential to evolve. It’s not quite an online diary, but a place where I can share my journey. I don’t need to tell the world all of my business, but I’d love to share what I’ve learned, hoping someone out there finds it helpful.
I’ve outlined a different sections of my life that I’d like to share, reflect on, and work through publicly. First up is rebranding my mommy blog. I’m still a mom, but being a “mommy blogger” isn’t my identity. The child who made me a mom is now 24, with her own life and identity that has nothing to do with me—and I love that for her. I’m proud that I can step back and let her grow, but I feel there’s still more of a story to tell. Not her story, but my story, as I transition from “mom” to just me.
I never truly appreciated how much my mom—and moms in general—sacrificed until I observed my daughter step into her own life. I’m so proud, but it’s bittersweet seeing her navigate life. I’m always here to offer advice, but I’ve learned there are times she needs to figure things out on her own, and I can’t always rush in to help.
Maybe this will be a running space, though I don’t run as much anymore. Perhaps this will be a crafting space since my crafting has shifted and evolved—and I am excited to share how the shift has been. Possibly, I will get back to writing about my life as a librarian although sometimes I get anxious when talking about libraries because of the bad experiences in my last position. Two years later and I’m still processing the trauma from that and hesitate to revisit that time.
And then there’s family and kidney disease, which has opened my eyes in so many ways—watching how my mother and aunt navigate their care, and figuring out how to navigate my own.
For the month of October, I invite you to check out who I am, what I’m doing, and why I’m doing it. Thank you for coming along for this journey.
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