It's a Gray Day - Say It, "Rah-shay"

Early this morning, The Bee came down from her room to join me in watching the movie Whiplash. “Did you see?” she asked, and before I answered she blurted, “Donald Trump won. I’ve been up all night watching and I’m scared.” She talked about a classmate who is afraid of her family being deported. There are some classmates who fully support Trump’s platform and when questioned would answer, “Oh Maddy, but not you!” and fear of someone hurting her because she says, “No” as she walks through Philadelphia.

We talked and she shared more on her feelings and thoughts, asking if she could stay home from school – an idea I had briefly considered as I sat up late in the night flipping through channel watching election returns. Instead we prepped for the day and I encouraged her to call me should she need to but to stand tall, hold her head up and let hate know that it won’t win.

Brave words, for sure, but I have to let you know that this mama is scared.

It's a Gray Day | Say it, "Rah-shay"

It’s a gray day and this mama is feeling a bit frozen and stuck as she watches the world around her.

What does it say when America willingly chooses a misogynistic, mean, racist, hateful bully to be the leader of her country instead of anyone else with any experience?

Where do I fit in with this rush to rebuild an America that, not without faults, isn’t completely broken?

How do I encourage my child, the children I see daily, to be a good person, to do the right thing to believe when an overwhelmingly majority of our country chooses hate and fear?

It’s a gray day and this mama needs a little help to understand.

Help me understand and form the words I need to go high and be strong when a man who ran a race full of hate and fear, a man who gave a voice, and permission to use that voice in vilest, foulest ways, to people who are afraid of the shifting in the status quo, is rewarded for this behavior. It’s not going to be OK for me for a while and I am not ashamed to admit that I am struggling.

It’s a gray day and this mama needs to be strong for her teen.

The Bee sent me a message from school asking me to come and get her. “I’m scared” she wrote but when I probed a bit more she said she cried during lunch and was going to hold her head up and make it through the rest of her day. I’m proud of my teen, showing up and facing the change that’s coming.