…makes me think too much.
(Please to note: I tried to publish this last night but either my phone needs an update or Blogger does like me. I’m going with a little from column A and a little from column B)
So. It’s 1:12 in the AM and I’m still up.
On my mind:
My house is done. All that is missing are a few curtains or blinds and The Bee and I*. Don’t get me wrong; I’m ecstatic to be FINALLY moving but I feel totally unprepared and just not ready. Playing the shoulda, coulda, woulda game big time. Shoulda been packing, coulda moved more boxes and crap. Woulda been more prepared if I had gotten off my duff.
To be fair I have been working a bit at a time. Employing my mantra: the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step I have been making my way although there were more than a few baby steps (Hell some were even steps
backwards but ‘cha know).
|Taken before @&&!! broke loose|
She’s with her dad this week and while part of me is doing a happy dance, I miss her surly butt. We talked Sunday about what the holey hockey mom has been going on and all I can and will do is hope she heard what I said, realize I still love her and talk to me about what’s going on.
Either way I won’t lose me, let her drift too far and know and roll with us still having our days but it will be cool.
The tour of hospitals begins again. My aunt is currently fighting some type of virus. Mom is still doing her dialysis, my grandmother is over and seems weak and more out of it.
Illnesses care nothing for who you are, what you did/ do. Really. It doesn’t.
Yes, publicly declaring that after a few (OK lots) of missteps I have found someone that makes me grin, giggle and feel excited. Yes, yes as a modern chick I know all of the above are things that I can achieve on my own but shoot, I did it and now have it enhanced.
Because I am nuts, er superstitious I don’t want to jinx this so I’ll leave it at this: Mondays rock! Later today will be awesome.
Eh, summer was weird. New, rougher kids, more and more bored kids, and I just felt like I failed as a library chick as well as lost my library mojo. Not sure where my give a damn was. I felt like I gave 100% but some days felt more like 78%. For reals.
Fall is coming and it’s not like lives hung in the balance (although there was a kid or two I wanted to pummel). I guess I CAN get that do over I want.
My friend Cecily (google UpperCase woman cause I don’t know how to hyperlink on my phone) writes honestly about her money woes.
Yeah… What she said. Cause I am in the middle of the dance of avoidance and truly not getting real about stuff. Let’s just say being spooked biweekly is more attractive than my account balance so for the foreseeable future I’ll happily battle Gertrude and give up my evenings twice a week.
Cause what is a post without this?
Golly I feel like I should be squatting on a temple giving out advice**. My guy likes me and I like that he can appreciate the Rubenesque ways but damn! Walking up the stairs with laundry today felt like the chore it was. I know that I should be all about I want to be healthy and such but damn it! That arm fat and Buddha belly is not attractive. My friends went for photo shoot yesterday. I opted not to take pictures partly due to being broke (see above) but mostly because I feel like such a whale. Logically I know what I need to do to get in some semblance of a shape but right now I want an Oreo more than a faster track time.
You win now Mr. Cannolli*** but I’m coming for you soon.
I’m getting sleepy so I’ll knock off now. Thanks for staying up with a sister.
*There is more to be done but that sounded funnier
**No disrepect intended. Just having a fat girl moment.
***Inside joke with Buffy and BIL
Shamelessly wide mouthed yawning,