In which I mark “Splurge Day” with thoughts about time.
When I was working two jobs there was always this feeling that time – my time, work time, off time – was not *my* time. There was always someplace to be, something to be doing, something that I could not control. Burnout was nigh. As I would plot and plan ways to not work more than my scheduled time, I found that time not home doing “my thing” consumed my thoughts. Instead of getting up and enjoying the morning I was complain about having to get ready and go to work. Instead of doing that workout I would whine about how much time I probably would not have to do the whole workout and ext thing you know, instead of just doing it, the scheduled time would be frittered away and there I sat, having to rush off to do something for someone.
Evenings were the worst. Dragging home from work I would find that “I’m gonna do” was my go to phrase. I was gonna do a thing but after working Sundays and Mondays at the part time gig, I *needed* Tuesday to recover to get ready for Wednesday to do the things that I was’t able to do because work. Plans were constantly being cancelled and it if I did do a thing, I would fret and fuss so much that it would be over before I had a chance to savor and enjoy the moment.
When The Librarian and I combined houses, we sat down and had a conversation about me keeping my second job (to channel Gary Gulman…in this economy! You don’t give up a second job!) and what life would look like when I stopped. After some fretting (because me) and a few moments of “I shoulda” I realized that while there have been some days a getting a paycheck every week would have been the loveliest, time is even better and I am loving free evenings, a sense of ownership of my schedule and splurging on time for things that I want to do.
Which is fitting because today, June 18th, is Splurge Day.
Splurge, as defined at Dictionary.com, is to indulge oneself in some luxury or pleasure and today I have splurged. Evenings and weekends are no longer for complaining about getting ready for work or for doing something that I am just going to fuss about. It’s visiting family. It’s firing up the grill and enjoying the backyard that The Librarian and I fell in love with when we were house hunting. It’s taking some time to go do a thing and getting home and relaxing with a pile of books and some squishy yarn. Mornings, since waking at 4:30am is my new jam, are for a few rows of knitting, reading a book and enjoying the birds singing as they tease my poor cat.
It has been a such a transition…going from “Aww man, I’ve got to work! to “Ahh…I have the whole evening to do what I want to do!” There are days when I am trying to remember whether there i
s a thing that things I was supposed to do (why do I fool myself into believing I will remember instead of writing things down?) or if I am actually free. And, without exaggeration, this extra time is for getting up early and enjoying a cuppa while the and week.
Eventually I want to start my morning workouts again. I loved running through the park and getting my miles in before a day of serving the public and doing all the things for all of the people. My mood was better, I felt like I could seize the day and, yo, I was looking HAWT!
I also just enjoy the the time that I seemed to have gained. There are still only 24 hours in a day but those 24 hours are so rich and full. Time to try that recipe! Time to start a new yarnthing! When it’s cooler, time to curl up with The Bee and The Librarian and have an epic chat about whatever.