The first step, the first day, first time, first anything is always the hardest. It’s especially hard when that first thing is public (totes my decision to put it out there but it’s still hard!) and is a second, third, twelfth attempt at a new thing. This is why I decided to keep mum as I started up the whole working out thing again. Really, who needs to read my Facebook status or tweets that I have started working out only to have me fall off the wagon after a few days? I sure didn’t want to post it and I didn’t want to yet once boast about starting a new thing and then falling silent when asked about that thing.
A few things inspired me to get going and just do it instead of talking about it. Last month I went to see my doctor after complaining of headaches, tiredness and some other I’m not taking care of me type things. I had blood work done and waited for the results. I have borderline high cholesterol! That’s something other people get, not me! In denial, something I am oh so good at, I continued to eat and be as I was until I noticed that talking on the telephone made me out of breath.
Forreal.
I sounded like Darth Vader as I made phone calls, would have to mute the calls when I was supposed to be listening and on more than one occasion had someone ask me what that noise was in the background.
Eep!
The coup de tat was work. I have been noticing my storytimes a little more sedate. I wasn’t quite as active as I once was but chalked it up to me calming down a bit but in reality I was tired. Tiiied (so tired I couldn’t pronounce the ‘r’!). I’ve been noticing some twinges in my knees, a pain in my back, stiffness but dismissed it. I couldn’t dismiss it any further after an event at work. This past weekend I had to work and the event, while not extremely laborious, was long and went on for a few hours. By the time I got home I was exhausted. I mean, tired, sore and just ready for my bed. My knees were aching, my back was aching and I fell asleep around 7:30 and woke the next day still exhausted. Sitting on the couch feeling sorry for myself I decided that today was going to be the tomorrow from yesterday.
A fellow blogger, Momma Brown, who writes The Turnip Farmer, has been sharing her amazing weight loss journey. As I read through her posts, sometimes not without envy, I saw that she wasn’t just losing weight, she was getting more in tune with herself and I knew that I wanted that. I do want to look good, yes, but I also want to be the person who is not lousy with tiredness and exhausted because moving an unhealthy body takes work. I took a page from Momma Brown’s book and made a visual of how much weight I want to lose. She had tweeted a picture of the weight she has loss plus the amount left to lose and it was powerful to see.
MommaBrown’s visual was quite stunning. It made me think of the weight I need to lose (52 pounds to get me to a healthy BMI) and dole out the stones. My picture is not quite a dramatic but these stones will be my visual that I can do it,
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| I keeps it classy with my dusty vase. |
So far no movement with my stones but I’m positive. When I consider what those stones mean, one pound, I think about all of the extra I am carrying around. One pound is one water bottle, one pillow and I am carrying 52 of them!
Shudder!
Slowly, safely I am going to throw stones, pounds, away.
Thanks MommaBrown for the inspiration.
-r
oh my gosh…you are so sweet. and i totally know all those feelings, physical and mental, that you are talking about.
keep the faith, those stones will move. and not only will you feel lighter, but the world will too.
please, if you ever need a pep talk, give me a shout. you know where to find me!
– mb