In a total flurry of whimsy*, I tried to mesh my two worlds. The Bee, Effin Guy and I had dinner together and a movie this past weekend and while I thought things had gone OK, Effin Guy thought things had gone OK, The Bee declared that the outing was just plain weird! Effin Guy and The Bee are aware of each other and have spent time in the same room. He helped us move, has been over to play Wii and The Bee, Pop and I spent the afternoon at his store hawking Girl Scout cookies but the idea that moms, no, HER mom dates is just something that she cannot and will not be able to reconcile.
Effin Guy is the most serious relationship I’ve had since The Dad and I split. There have been some dates here and there and a sorta semi thing but they always took place when The Bee was with The Dad. I’ve tried to keep some things adult swim. I always felt that The Bee didn’t need to meet or know about that part of my life. My attitude changed when I arranged time off from work, other obligations and some time wth friends to do something with The Bee and she asked if she could stay at my sister’s house and play with her cousin and the group of kids from his neighborhood. As I slunk home, I recalled the words of wisdom from my aunt: Kids will rather you sit in the next room slitting your wrists than to have you enjoy yourself”. With a pile of yarn as my witness, I declared that I would not let the role of Mom make me that mom, the one that is so wrapped up in her kid that she is lost when said kid is gone.
My actual doing something about my declaration was given a pass for a while. The Bee spends half of her week with her dad and I could be social guilt free. Throw in some time at Mom’s, babysitting swaps with Buffy and I was the consummate social butterfly. But with summer coming and a change of arrangements for The Bee I can no longer tightly control the rules I made for my life not as mom. The Bee doesn’t need to know EVERY detail of the time I have when she is not around but I think it’s important that she sees here mom as a person and not just the getter of pancakes or the maker of cookies.
But back to the outing…despite being tempted, I won’t be giving up anytime soon. These two people are quite important to me and I think its time they get to know each other more. I like the idea of my two worlds being together and I think its time that Mommy and Rachee become a few steps closer to being one.
Planning the next outing,
Now it’s your turn:
What say you?
If you have mini-me’s, when did you start dating? Or how did you feel when your mom or dad began to date?
*Psych! I worried and worried over this outing!
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