Lately I have been in a weird place. Not quite the depressive dunwanna state but more of a stuck place. I realize I sound like a broken record but whateves. Y’all probably have days, weeks like this too. Instead of being what I like to call a whiny, whiny, boo, boo about it I’ve actually reached out and asked for help.
Shut the front door!
Nope. I called a friend, Professor Morris, and she listened to me whine and worry, without judgement, and talked me off the ledge and back in the window. While everything is not miraculously better she was able to give me a new way to look at things. Her attitude is what I strive for: confident without being cocky. Courageous without being foolish and positive while keeping things in perspective.
I love talking with her. She is so open and honest and has such a positive attitude in knowing her stuff and SHARING what she knows. Professor M made me feel like my funky attitude was nothing I ever needed nor wanted to keep.
But believing in myself is another story. The attitude without the belief…it’s like reading a book with blank pages. Not gonna happen. I tried to fake it until I made it but sometimes it’s hard to get excited when all the while you’re feeling gunky. By chance I called a friend for something totally unrelated and we wound up chatting for a good twenty minutes about work, what I wanted to do and what I felt about what I was doing.
Everything is not miraculously better but my attitude toward things is not so daunting and bleak. I feel that I can be positive, confident and upbeat and its not fake. It’s not false and it is OK to have a day when I am feeling crappy but what I do with that feeling is all in my attitude. I can wallow or I can bloom. Believing that I am in charge of what I feel is something I work towards but knowing I can work on it…Ahhhh!
I feel like I am overdoing the songs but call me sentimental or a tweenage girl: lately my music has had me reflecting on some things that I am unable to voice.
Here is Lena as Glinda the Good to help encourage you too.