r’s note: I am taking way longer than five minutes with this post.
Ahem
This week I am linking up with Jana again and the prompt for the week is
Today’s (totally optional) prompt: What I learned this week.
Today I am forty years old and God help me as I figure out what being forty actually means. Besides checking off the box for another age group (40-45 or 40-49) what does it mean to enter a decade? It’s never too late to learn so I decided to hijack Jana’s prompt to not think about being the big 4-0 and just pretend that it’s October 6th for someone who is not a Fagg woman.
This week I learned:
It is OK to ask for help. I reached out to a friend who offered to help The Bee with her math, a subject she struggles with.This friend has offered help in other ways but I have been reluctant to take up her offer. I decided to put pride aside and do what needed to be done to make sure The Bee passes.
I love me some him and don’t care who knows it. Today, Effin Guy surprised me with a picnic lunch because I had to work today (lame, right?!) and I almost teared up. We always joke that he’s softer than I am when it comes to us but his thoughtfulness and kindness was so surprising. I had spent so many years being so angry and feeling like bad things should happen to me (drama queen, anyone?) but this man came along and just made me realize that I am not the person I was so many years ago, the angry sad, mad, woman and that it is good to be and feel loved.
I can forgive. There are times that I wanted to just hurt The Dad. There may still be some days when I want to get all Bernie from Waiting to Exhale but honestly I forgive the years that we went to Hell and back, the terrible awful and everything in between and I can say that I wish him and his well.
No is really not a bad word. I’m just a girl who cain’t say it but I can. Sometimes I’m quick to say yes because I want to be like one of the cool kids and then things happen. Things that make me feel like a big dolt. Things that I cannot perfectly control and then I hide, ignore or run away and that’s not good for anyone involved. Which leads me to
Wearing big girl pants ain’t easy but they sure feel good. See above and also it’s ok to take charge. I can somethimes be content to let others make decisons for me and may not care for their input. Owning up to my stuff, no matter the outcome, gives me a sense of satisfaction. Also, I can tell direct my teen (TEEN?!) on what to do and not feel like a huge hypocrite (something she learned in religion class and is not afraid to throw around at home).
I CAN choose. The choice truly is mine, whether it be to let a crappy customer service person make me get funky (behavior wise I mean), to whether I get caught in the drama and shenanigans from people in my life. I can choose to take it in and be negative OR I can choose to observe OR I can choose to move on and let foolish do as foolish does.
My rule of one per household is not hard and fast. That is not to say that I want more kids but child of Leaky (Arboo is getting to old for the name Arboo and I don’t know what to call her yet) was over on Friday and it wasn’t the Hell I had in my mind. Maybe first circle but not bad.
Looking for a High School. Gah!
My race, my pace. A friend shared on Facebook the dinner of nuggets and broccoli she had prepared and one of the comments was “my race, my pace.” When I was running Broad Street, I heard that from a fellow runner and tried to keep that in mind as my feet swelled, my breathing got more ragged and I just wanted the race to be over. In everyday life this can apply to many things: being a mom, what I’m doing at work, blog things and more. I am going to stay in my lane (yes, I am mixing quotes) and run MY race.
I also learned:
- Knitting rocks
- Popcorn is good, er a WHOLE bag of popcorn is just fine!
- A whole bag of gummy anything gives me a stomachache but they are so worth it
- Zoolander is my new go to happy place.
Now, what have you learned this week? Leave a comment or link up with Jana.
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post (get it from Jan’s site).
- Link up your post on Jana’s website
I find asking for help incredibly difficult too. It’s sometimes necessary, but that doesn’t make it easy!
Oh Rachee hope you had a fabulous birthday. I had a big one this summer. When I was signing up for a local 5K yesterday and the 50 popped up in the age box — I gasped. (down on the inside.) Still not used to seeing that but getting more comfortable with it. You are so right. One of the wonderful things about aging is I am much easier on myself. Much easier on others. Because honestly all this worry that I’m not good enough and striving, striving, striving doesn’t really accomplish anymore than hard work and a not freaking out when things don’t go as planned. My 40s were great.