Or I really think this song is about me.
r’s note: I’m not a bad person. I am happy that good things happen to good people. I will even concede that there are times that good things happen to bad people. I am genuinely happy win something good happens but there are times that I feel a happy and a tad grabby.
Here’s what I have to say about that.
In all of my blogging, (over) sharing and posts there is one thing that I have failed to mention: I tend to get a little green with jealously, I know jealously is a sin (one of the seven deadly right?) but there are times when I hear about the good fortune that someone may experience and for a brief moment (or longer) a part of me is so consumed with a feeling of want that its almost physical.
I don’t wish ill for the person experiencing the good fortune,…I just wish it were happening to me. My inner jealouslt has caused me to avoid friends, certain movies and some other social situations that seem utterly ridiculous as I type.
Its sad; its wrong and its something that I has been a part of me that makes me ashamed when I crave and desire something that isn’t mine but something that I really, really want.
Petty aint it? This jealousy that consumes me has caused me to avoid people, avoid things and spin in my own little world where I am a the ish.
I’m not the ish. In fact I am a terrible. Sometimes I feel like I’ve had a shot at the good things but due to incompetence, my not recognizing it for what it is or just my tendency to squander I have blown it.
I am learning to celebrate the fortune that is smiled upon others. I’ve been trying to fake it until I make it but seriously, although I am smiling and putting on a good face, there is a part of me that wishes I had a monkey’s paw.
Channeling my inner Homer,
This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
Link up your post on the site (the host is all things fadra).
Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.