r’s note: This post totally took more than five minutes as I was interrupted by a student.
I’ve been thinking about school lately. Me, The Bee, the kids I work with and after hemming and hawing I think its high time for me to make my way back. Watching the students here at my part time gig makes me think fondly of sneaking gummy bears into the library and reading a book. I am damn good at what I do but the insecurity I have of not having my degree rushes in and chokes the life out of any spark of confidence I dare feel. I am scared to even consider it. I feel like I have had my three (four, five, et al) chances and screwed up and now I get what I get because I allowed life to be the excuse I needed not to finish a paper, not to turn in an assignment, not to whatever.
As I watch the last minute scramble for notes, papers and refence materials I wonder if I can do this again. I know I would wear thise letters behind my name like a badge but thinking about textbooks, syllabi, APA! Ai yi yi!
As a young student people would always caution me to finish school but there was always time. Then one day I was in my 20s and there was still time. Then I had The Bee and a well paying job so it wasn’t as important. But now with a job that gives me satisfaction I feel incomplete. I know my stuff but shy away from giving my opinion less someone find out the truth: I’ve got no papers.
School starts up in a few weeks and as I fiddle with the application I keep telling myself there is time. I may be almost 40 but I with or without that degree I will still be almost 40. I can do it but feel like I’ve had my time and should gracefully chug. Or not. A writing class or two may be just what I need to breathe life into my blog.
This was my 5 minute scholarly Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…
- Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.
- Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
- Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
- Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
- Link up your post on the site.
- Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.