PYHO: Boys Will Be Boys

Say it Rah-shay By Aug 10, 2011 7 Comments
“Missy. Can I come over?”                 “Missy. Can I sleep over?”                  “Missy. Can I go with you?”
Most often when my nephew, Dill, makes one of the above requests I squirm and find excuses to say no. There are times when my kid will be at her dad’s and I exercise my self made rule that if my kid isn’t present, then no kids with me. There are days when a long day at work makes me not want any children, my child included, near me. Then there are times that I just can’t, won’t deal. My nephew is busy, very busy, and there are times when that business of being busy just does not mix with the quiet that I have planned for me. With my kid we have a comfortable rhythm, we walk, sit, relax. With my nephew it’s like the Tasmanian Devil has entered the room and nothing is left unscathed in his wake.
Dill charges and flings himself through the house. My cat runs and hides when he comes, exhausted by the attention that he lavishes on her. He doesn’t sit as as he flops, flings, crashes his way on the couch. Walking is also a hazard; he trots, skips, races through the house and I am drained by the time he leaves. The Bee loves her cousin so I try not to let my inner Oscar* pollute their visits but more often than I care to share Dill is ‘in trouble’ and I’m left feeling like bad aunt of the year.

picture courtesy of mrsrkfj

The Bee loves her cousin, fiercely defends and protects him and often gives me grief for being so negative when he visits. I can’t help that his history has resulted in broken dishes, spilled soda, me cleaning up after him and a cat so wound up that she ran through the house for an hour after he left. But I have been considering my behavior. Dill is not yet double digits (although close enough) but he’s still a child and I would be up in arms if someone were to view The Bee with anything other than loving eyes. As I pondered how to get out of my own head a family with four boys ranging in age from 5 to 12 came to visit me today. As I chatted with Mom of Four she casually answered questions about what her family’s rest of summer plans were as her boys explored the library. She was calm as she turned to two who’s slap game escalated to an almost fight and asked two of them to stop hitting each other (they listened). Mom of four was downright serene when a third started complaining about the visit, she was patient as one boy took a car and drove it along the table, his arm, his brother’s arm. All the while making a zoom noise. At that moment it hit me…boys, will be boys. Dill is a boy. He will do boy things. So him tripping through the house. Him running, his business for being busy…that’s all what boys do.


I’m not giving him a pass for all behavior. This is just for the things that Rachee issues like him running everywhere, touching everything and just all over…Gah! Tomorrow when the question is asked, “Missy. Can I come over?” Instead of a quick, “NO!” I’ll consider and possibly answer with a (somewhat) enthusiastic Yup!

Acknowledging the Y chromosome,

This post is a part of Shell Things Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays
The rules:
Here are the Rules:

Write a post from the heart.

Something that has been weighing on you.

Something you feel passionately about.

Something you’ve been wanting to talk about.

A cause, a memory, a belief, a world view.


*My inner Oscar the Grouch


I am mom, daughter, sister, yarn lover, word lover, crazy cat lady and library chick. Find me with book or with hook and a hot cuppa.


  1. mrsrkfj says:

    Aww, my Pickles!

  2. Rachee, I know exactly what you mean! I have that special little someone in my life who I think twice about having over myself. Now, I have a son, so I am very familiar with the Y chromosome phenomenon you describe. The problem is, I think this boy was given double or triple the normal amount of Y chromosomes. To top that, my son doesn’t like to play with him. But the boy is the son of my friend, a very lovely person, so I always invite him into my home, with my fingers tightly crossed that he will not break anything…this time. I cajole my son into accepting the boy into our home and “strongly encourage” him to be nice. I have seen a super-mean streak in him around this boy, and it is not a pretty sight. It isn’t easy, but I figure we have done the “right” thing by welcoming the boy into our home, and my son can learn an important lesson in tolerance.

  3. shellthings says:

    It’s definitely not a pass for all behavior(says the mom of 3 boys) but I’ve become adjusted to what is normal boy behavior and what needs to be stopped.

  4. You are a good aunt to know the difference between boy behavior and acting badly. Dill sounds like a boys boy, if that makes any sense! He will know your acceptance and love you for it. I know this as my own sister had lost several things to my children when they come over and tear through her house. They love her for it.

  5. mrsrkfj says:

    Aww, my Pickles!

  6. shellthings says:

    It’s definitely not a pass for all behavior(says the mom of 3 boys) but I’ve become adjusted to what is normal boy behavior and what needs to be stopped.

  7. Carrie says:

    YES. My first child was a girl. Life was good, life was fairly serene. When my son entered our world, it was like a wildfire. Suddenly the house was full of noise, and movement, and crashes.

    Just like you, it took some time for me to adjust to a boy. And when I accepted him for who he is, BAM, eveything clicked into place. Thanks for sharing your story. Boys WILL be boys. And some boys are ALL boy!!!! Your Dill is adorably “all boy”.

Your turn! Tell it to Rah-shay!