How to Seuss When You Don’t Want To

Or: It’s Dr. Seuss’s Birthday. Big Deal.

I am probably committing six forms of literary blasphemy but I’ll say it anyway: Dr. Seuss is highly overrated. His books are way too long for read alouds, not as whimsical as they assume they are and quite frankly, and my own Rachee thing, they always scare the crap out of me. Shudder! If I had my choice I would totally bypass Seuss and go for another author but alas, there are movies, television shows and a damn day dedicated to Seuss.  Read Across America is this week and I have to take me out of it and create what they, the people, want. And, for some God forsaken reason, they want Seuss.

How to Seuss when you don’t want to:

Pre-Seuss

1. Realize that all of your Dr. Seuss books are being requested and are not on the shelves. Look at the calendar and notice Read Across America is soon.
Accompanying action: groan and moan because this inevitably means someone will ask you when the very Seuss storytime you are trying to avoid will take place. 

2. Panic because, although you don’t like Seuss, there is a demand that needs to be addressed (see above). Call library friend who will listen to your whine/rant about Seuss.
Accompanying action: roll and suck your teeth because friend will wax excitedly about how and why they loooove them some Seuss.

Getting Seussed – the people have spoken

1. Look for Seuss books in home library and read them with little cousin or that random library kid asking for a story. Recall the library friends who does Seuss and does him well.

Accompanying fruitless action: Attempt to find notes from Seuss ideas that you really, really, really liked but give up because that thing you lost last week has been found and needs your attention. 

2. Re-read Seuss and realize that it’s not really as long as you remember and that Thing 1 and Thing 2 are actually kind of cute.

Accompanying action: Shudder when the return of the creepy feeling that you always get when looking at Seuss hits you. 


3. Troll the web and Pinterest for Seuss ideas.
Accompanying action: Get caught up pinning stuff things that is so not Seuss related. Recall the original goal and look for wackiness. 

Seuss themed storytime/program (or something to make you feel like its your idea):

1.Get ready to read and realize that the books you pulled to the side are either home (remember you took them home when you wanted to re-read them…again), checked out or a page or two is ripped out.

Accompanying action: throw a hissy


2. Find books that follow the spirit of Seuss and review those. Realize these are much, much better and add them to the line-up.

Accompanying action: breathe a sigh of relief that you won’t have to read that long ass The Cat in the Hat book.


3. Read and enjoy.

Accompanying action: big smiles and knock down hugs from kids who are so excited to be wearing paper bow ties and red and white paper hats. Collect loads and loads of Seuss stuff and think that Seuss may not be as bad as you once thought. Recall that Seuss is not your fave and dutifully hang Seuss decorations and vow to never Seuss again.


4. Plan for next year cause it never, ever ends.
Sigh!

OK. So the “you” was totally me BUT if you are not a Seuss fan then you can be you too! (Hey! I inadvertently Seussed myself!). This week I am going to Seuss it like no one’s business even though I don’t wanna. There may or may not be a red and white hat involved. There *will* be some Grinchiness going on. Cause, ya know.

A stunning self portrait of me when I have to Seuss.

Getting ready to moo,
-r

r’s note: Affiliate links were used in this post

Photo credit: TV By the Numbers