September has arrived and with it, a whoosh of Fall. The mornings are cool, begging for a cuddly sweater and a cuppa as I snuggle in my favorite chair before the rest of the house wakes. As I sit and type, I think about the summer that’s been, the autumn ahead, and what is happening now.
On the surface, things have been going pretty well but I feel like I have been experiencing a low-key depression trying to make sense of changes. While I thought I was doing fine with the new, I find myself having thoughts of some catastrophic event that will find Rachee slightly injured. Between work and renal things, home and family, not to mention the world trying to implode, sometimes I find that I don’t want to be in my head but it is tough to be in the world.
Reclaiming My Time
The meme for August was Representative Maxine Waters telling someone she was reclaiming her time and I get it. However, instead of me fussing with some outside force wasting my time, I need to reclaim my time from me.
Time on my side
525,600 minutes in a year. 43,800 minutes in a month. 1440 minutes each day.
I’ve started wasting these precious minutes with things not bringing me joy. Don’t get me wrong (are you getting me wrong?) I think downtime is essential for recharging however I have found that *I* have been hitting pause on life. I have been busting out some knit and crochet things and that feels good but my joke about a stage two decubitus (aka a bed sore) on my butt may become a reality as I waste time doing none of the things I have said I would do.
My Affirmative August sort of fizzled. I found myself still saying “No” to friends and family, even to myself! Some of it was a screw up with my meds, which found me tired and out of energy. Some of it was the depression that had me starting to question all of the things. (Please remember depression is not some woman walking around in a bathrobe not showering. Depression is a big fat lie which makes one think that there got a handle on things but psyche! Also, this reminder is totally for me. If you got something from it, groovy!). Some of my no’s were because I just didn’t wanna.
But a new month and new beginnings (school is starting, new programs at work, new season a coming) feels like a redo. “Say Yes to September!” and be kind to myself even if I didn’t do all of the things I promised I would.
The plan: be kind to yourself
Someone in one of my Facebook groups shared this article about The Power of Rituals and How to Get into the Zone. The article seems to be reading my mind…morning rituals, eliminating distractions, stay connected to my why. I have made excuses a habit and have watched as all of the hard work I started at the beginning of summer flitter away. My weight has crept up, my energy has gone down and my mojo is somewhere between the cushions of the couch.
I will not “should” all over myself but I am committed to spending time doing things which allow me a rich and juicy life, a feeling of well-being, a sense of accomplishment each day. Not to mention allowing myself the dignity of not grunting with each move and sounding like Darth Vader when I exert myself. A time to be kind to myself and some space to allow myself back into the groove. Early to bed, setting AND KEEPING limits, working out even when I don’t feel like it. Writing – blog and in my journal. Reading and knitting and spending time with my family and friends, acknowledging my feelings but getting out of my head and kicking butt.
My goals for the month are few but what I need in this moment.
- Morning walks. I prefer morning but will allow evenings. I love getting my walk in before seizing the day and with school starting there will be people around so I won’t be out there alone especially that creepy part of my loop that looks a little shady.
- Setting limits on social media. I knew it was bad when I woke one morning clutching my phone and having the Facebook app open. I am going to delete some of my social media apps on the weekend and set timers for how and when I use these apps.
- WRITE! I have been journaling a bit and it has been good. I am committed to spending a few minutes each day with a pen and paper and recording my thoughts.
- Being kind to myself. I deserve it
I hope your September rocks and that you can reclaim your time.