In years past, I have dreaded “the concert”. The concert sometimes uses the alias pageant, recital, show or chorus but we will agree to call it “the concert” from here out. These events are events that only a mother (or father) could love. While there is nothing cuter than your baby in a tutu and tights or a group belting out a familiar tune, there seems something sinister about these performances. One begins to wonder why the school curriculum includes violating the civil rights of ill-informed parents and well meaning relatives and friends.
Blech!
Some highlights of torture masquerading as theater:
Pop as an irate town member indignantly declaring, “Oh we got trouble! Right here in River City!”, an “orphink” and a trash can dancer in The Music Man Junior, Annie Junior, and Stomp Junior respectively. There was nothing junior about any of these. The average show time in that hot lunchroom/auditorium was 2 hours and 45 minutes!
Courtesy of Pop again (but not Pop), a child butchering Al Green. The soloist earnestly sang in a pitch only heard by animals “Put a little loooove! Put a little looooove!”. This was a Spring concert so it was still hot in the auditorium/lunchroom/gymnasium but we could have the doors open.
A looooooooooong(4 hour) ballet recital in which the person I knew was onstage for three jetes and two Rond de jambe*. This time the torturer family member was my cousin Leaky. I was old enough to know better; this was pre-Bee but I wanted to support the family. The dance company actually announced that they had cut the program by featuring the smaller children at a noontime performance.
Pickles and his pre-school class performing a hula for Mother’s Day.
Yes.
A hula.
I both dreaded and anxiously awaited the day when The Bee would be performing. Her school is very child centered and child oriented. Children are encouraged to give a lot more input than I would necessarily allow (and I am a pretty loose mom type as far as the Bee is concerned at times). However at her school the kids call the teachers by their first name (which freaks my mom out even after 5 years!) and they are often very opinionated on all topics. Whether ya wanna hear it or not.
In the four concerts that I have attended we have been entertained by homemade instruments, compositions by the kids with very limited assistance from the music teacher, and this ‘bing bong’ thing that an Australian guy so eloquently wondered in his wonderful accent, “What the hell?”
So when The Bee came home excited about her concert I was momentarily envious of my mom’s hospital stay. The Bee joined the chorus this year and has been diligently attending rehearsals, practicing her songs and bugging me to get the black and white outfit needed for the day.
Concert night drama:
One stressor I have about the concert is trying to get there on time. Delco is not so far away but with traffic, trying to get dinner ready for a picky eater and the rain that inevitably occurs whenever there is a performance I left work early-ish to be ready for once.
When I got home The Bee off handily reported that she had to be to the church by 6:10. This was breezily remarked at 5:28. So, no dinner and away we flee. Of course, the Delco area rained hard and heavy Thursday night. Cats, Dogs and Elephants and let’s get some sandbags type of rain.
Why does it ALWAYS rain or there is some other type of awful weather that occurs the date of the concert? Even the assistant head of school noted this phenomena.
We didn’t get to eat and of course I was feeling all kinds of bad as I thought that my child was going to forget the lyrics to her songs because she was distracted by the rumblings of her tummy.
As I was hurtling through the streets of West Philly, stuck behind two slowly moving out of service SEPTA buses, I glance at the clock and I panicked at the time.
Me: ‘We may not get there at exactly 6:10’.
The Bee says, ‘No problem. We can get there at 6:10, 6:25. Something like that’.
Me: Blinking furiously: What!?!
The Bee: (singing to radio)
I guess I would have fibbed to my mom too about the time since she too suffers from chronic late-itis.
Oh well. Tonight’s winter concert was sweet. It was very entertaining and while I was not familiar with all of the songs, I wasn’t glued to my program as I would have been trying to will each song to end.
Highlights:
Ding Dong Merrily We Sing
Reindeer Rap (slipping and sliding, making all of the stops/ Killin ourselves to make Santa look hot!)
The 1/2 singing and dancing to a Hanukkah tune.
The chorus because they all looked so excited about singing.
I ran into a friend and we got to catch up on the girls and all of the drama that accompanies third graders at a private school.
It was really sweet and lovely. I was sad that my mom couldn’t attend but The Bee has promised a full performance when she gets home.
-r
*Slightly exaggerated. Leaky was in three numbers.
No Comments