When I saw that the prompt for my Shades of Social Media group was “The One That Got Away”, my first thought was not of some lost love. Nope, the thing that got away from me wasn’t a man but opportunity. As a person who plays it cautious I often let my caution, disguised as fear of the unknown, hold me back. Fear is a funny, fickle thing. For some, fear can force people out of their comfort zone and into a new situation. Fear can be the motivator to try something new, to do something different. For me, fear was an invisible chain with just enough give so when I felt comfortable enough to step out of my comfort zone it would snap me back in place. I know that’s a bit melodramatic but really, I have found myself ready to make a life changing decision but within moments will have talked myself out of the opportunity before I’ve even given myself a shot at it.
For years I have bowed out from offers for reasons that I cannot explain now but at the time these excuses were perfectly rational. Invited to a wedding? Pick a fight with my then boyfriend. Job interview? Get lost on the way or write the address down wrong or leave it home. Sign up for school? Have the drive but forget to attend class or turn in the assignment that is half of the grade. And lets not forget my favorite go to…weight. Oh yes! I have spent many a summer day bundled in some jeans and a tee declaring that I’m “alright” and “No, I don’t want to go” because I was feeling fat.
Thinking about all of the ways I have allowed myself to miss out I feel really foolish. I never thought farther ahead than of what my own self preservation would yield. I would say no without care or abandon and watch life fly by.
When I stopped to think about why it was that I would allow life to pass me by I realized that I was waiting for the perfect moment. The moment with my kid that when I would have the correct instinct to meet all the needs she had. The perfect moment to be with friends. It never comes. Unless *I* make it.
As simple as it sounds here is what I know…there is no perfect. There are times when I can plan and my plans will suck, there will be times when I allow myself to be scared and things will not go as planned. Nut in order to seize the day, I have to put myself out there and allow life to happen. It’s scary and I worry but it’s better than hiding and never allowing myself a chance.
r’s note: I’m behind in posting my Shades of Social Media posts. I really wanted to write about the one that got away but alas my (lack of) time management skills got in the way. I almost nixed the idea but then this week’s prompt “And that’s when I knew…” was the perfect way to tie them together.
Also, I have decided to link this with Stream of Consciousness Sunday which can be found on the blog Jana’s Thinking Place.
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